A Female Leader’s Dance with Staged Authenticity

When I was at university we learned about the idea of staged authenticity; the funny ways in which we replicate, and role play real life, culture, traditions and heritage for the pleasure of tourists who’ve come to see the REAL DEAL.

The irony was not lost on me then and it is certainly not lost on me now. But beyond the ‘traditional dancing’ that greets you when you arrive at your all-inclusive hotel, we see staged authenticity show up in everyday life and in everyday leadership.

When the voices of professional women are still being marginalized, it’s easy to spot the weight of expectations that force us to put on a little show – whether they stem organizational structures, colleagues, or even our own self-doubt.

There are many situations where our true self feels at odds with the norms and expectations, and for me, that’s often about being more stereotypically feminine than I really am. It’s definitely being more sociable than I really am, and it’s 100% be being more considered than I really am. My husband sees it and calls it ‘game face Claire’.  Not a fake Claire, but a version of me distinctly different from the person he interacts with on a daily basis.

An early background in sales taught me the power of mirroring and the ways in which I could adapt my voice, body language, expressions and personality to fit.

Male colleagues didn’t do this. They didn’t feel the need to. They were no less successful at closing sales but were so confident in themselves and their identity that it didn’t matter. People met them where they were at, they didn’t have to shape shift in the same way.

The verdict is still out on whether this is a super skill, or a sad reality of the length’s women must go to in order to conform to expectations. However, to be clear, I’m not necessarily against it. Staged authenticity can be and should be a choice for women to make. A character to play when the moment of need arises.

This is a critical challenge for women in leadership: authenticity vs staged authenticity vs adaptive conformity.

It’s helped me tremendously in my career; adapting to the version of Claire that people like, but it showcases the way women often feel the need to suppress our true selves. Adopting personas that feel more acceptable, more palatable.

It’s less about the fluidity of adapting to your surroundings and more about the situations where staged authenticity becomes a necessity. But where does it stop? Where do we draw the line? How do we attack from the exhausting need to ‘act’ and fully embrace who we are, au naturel?

Here’s what my 40s are teaching me that I definitely didn’t see in my 30s.

You don’t have to choose between being authentic and being successful. Being truly authentic is about showing up, warts and all, consistently. Regardless of the audience or situation. No, this doesn’t mean you can swear at your boss, but it does hold the promise that honoring your authentic self can be even more likeable and bring you more success than the multitude of personas you portray.

Sound too good to be true? Here are the 3 strategies I used to combat the pressure of my own staged authenticity:

Get crystal clear on your values

Take the time to clarify what truly matters to you. What are your core beliefs? How do those beliefs show up in your daily acts? When you show up in line with your values your leadership will naturally resonate with others.

Set boundaries

It’s okay to say no to situations that require you to compromise your identity. To be clear, this doesn’t mean shying away from opportunities that push you outside of your comfort zone, but it does mean finding ways to protect your energy and be intentional about where and how you invest your time.

Practice Vulnerability

Easier said than done when we’ve been spending decades building up vital walls of protection, I know. Start small, pick a trusted alley and open up about your challenges and triumphs.

Finally thought: Staged Authenticity, or ‘playing a part’ isn’t a good or bad thing. There is no right or wrong here. I’ll certainly continue to be adjusting the ‘Claire’ different people get to experience.

The key is CHOICE…. having the choice to decide how you show up and how you want others to experience you, rather than feeling you ‘have’ to be a certain way.

This is about taking back control and getting to decide the version of you that appears, whether that’s a true, authentic and vulnerable you (warts and all) or whether that’s a version of you that offers some protection, some armor, some Sasha Fierce (IFKYK).

Thanks for reading!

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